So I felt quite upset at the beginning of the week. The Natalie Murphy story that I wrote about in my previous post, had me feeling quite down. I just felt overwhelming sadness for her husband and young son. Shes of similar age to me, her son is the same age as Maxwell, and strangely she lives in the same suburb as us. When you read her story you cant help but put yourself in her shoes and try to absorb her thoughts and emotions. I relate with everything she mentions in her early posts - they are heartbreaking. How you will never forget the time you are told you have cancer, what its like to tell your loved ones and being strong for your kids but uncertainty is always lingering.
If there is anything I have come to learn from her story is that - what is - and what is not important. What to keep close to your heart and what to let go. If I can show half the strength she showed during her battle - theres no doubt ill come out on top :)
So in good news I had my radiation assessment and scheduling appointment today. Just standard stuff, tests, another CT scan, lots of information. They positioned my leg inside a moulded cast and measured up my tumor against the lasers inside the machine. Didn't know I would be getting permanent tattoos today! They had to make some on my leg so that everyday when I go in for treatment, the machine is aligned correctly. I think they should disappear in a few years and fade away, but my leg is starting to look like a snakes and ladders board. Every time I pick up max from daycare, someone's always checking out my scars from surgery! Ive had the bandage off 2 weeks now, so its still quite prominent. Im guessing its hard not to look, ill get used to it.
They went through all the side effects of the radiation with me. Fatigue, Nausea and Extreme Sunburn like rash on my leg - They warned me that it could get very very bad and look like its literally cooked. Charming! But she also said that as im naturally quite olive, my skin might just handle it, we will have to see.
I have to use creams everyday on my leg, no extreme exercise, no bikram yoga as its a breeding ground for bacteria (not good for my immune system and wound) no swimming, no sunshine. Ill slow down a lot in the last few weeks and a couple of weeks after I finish as thats when the radiation is working at its peak.
My mother is coming up from Christchurch for the radiation segment of my treatment to help out, and Simons mother is coming over from Scotland to help out for the surgery segment of my treatment! We are so lucky and feel so blessed to have family that can do this for us. Not to forget that this cancer is completely interrupting their lives, and at times I feel guilty of this.
We have our next hospital appointment on Tuesday with the Orthopedic Surgeon Mike Flint and I have a million questions for him.
Just want to say thanks to all those people who are sending me love and good thoughts via email and facebook. Nearly all my old friends from High School have been intouch too - which I find super heartwarming, many of you know I moved overseas for 9 years and fell out of touch with many people from that era, so to hear from you all again has been awesome.
Now to make the most of my weekend and swim in the sea and try to tan. (weather forecast has just predicted rain, go figure).