Monday, 6 February 2012

Its been a couple of weeks since I have done a blog update. To cut a long story short, my children got very ill with multiple bugs and croupe, the day I stared my treatment (damn you bloody day care - thats where this all started) . Thank GOD my mum has been here to help. Without having an extra pair of hands, there is no way I would have been able to get to the hospital everyday. Regardless - I cannot take them anyway, as when I am in the machine - no one else can be present in the room due to the high doses of radiation.
Anyhow - 2 weeks later they are better - Maxwell is back in daycare 2 days a week, and good timing too as my symptoms have started to kick in, Fatigue is HORRIBLE. I need to have a few hours extra sleep in the day , its like a wave being washed over you, one moment im fine - the next or im shaking and feeling very lightheaded. Sometimes I cant fall asleep but im rinsed out. Its strange - the doctors told me there is a complete difference to tiredness and fatigue. Bad fatigue can lead to insomnia. Tomorrow I will be halfway into this 5 week stint. It is nice having some me time everyday driving in with no kids, but as the effects have kicked in, well I would love to do without them!
A week ago, I was driving in, and pulled just off the motorway,,what happens - the car dies!  So we spent all weekend car shopping. Obviously we need something reliable to get me in and out of hospital and safe for the kids. Byebye huge chuck of our savings! Oh well, at least we are not in debt :)
My leg has now started to change color. Its gone very dark - starting to show signs of sunburn. Apparently by the end it will look quite intense, but years of tanning in southern hemi sun will hopefully help my case ha.
Something which has had me deep in thought on the daily - is how strong everyone around me is. Especially at the hospital, everyday I see mothers or fathers with young children (I am one of them) old people, toddlers and school kids, all in the waiting room sitting around waiting for their chemo or radiation appointments. I have to wonder whats going through their minds - probably the same things as me. I seem to notice a lot more when people moan about the most miniscule and pointless crap in their lives - makes me laugh. I dont really have time for the small dramatic events that might have once consumed me - its funny how much better I deal with a stressful situation, I dont even blink anymore. Life really is living for happiness. Every time I turn on facebook, someone is bitching about some form of useless info - yawn. I still love you all but the fact you have a huge hangover from hours of self inflicted abuse - does not entertain me no more :) My family is where its at x

So yes! Not too much news. Simon has a release coming out in March. It was a very hard time for him when I was waiting to be diagnosed. As hes a "creative" at nights he would lock himself away for hours on end in his studio - tinkering with god knows what. Well that just happened to be a 6 track EP, my cancer and diagnosis as his muse. The press release went out last week and can be read here:

So this is how my lovely, has personally channeled his feelings regarding all this.
I cannot really express how overwhelmingly busy we have been. Besides being at the hospital everyday, I have had visitors, lots of work on the go, dinners out, kidskidskids - it never ends. 
So over the next few weeks its just hospital everyday, getting in rest, work and preparing for maxwells 2nd birthday. His first was cancelled as we were due to fly into christchurch for his party - but the major earthquake happened and we never made it. Funny how every time we go or attempt to fly down there, theres an earthquake!

1 comment:

  1. I think about you every time I am whinging about sleep dep from kids, or colds, or whatever... Cancer really puts life into perspective! (though its hard to keep that perspective when Mace is teething ;) ) I think about you every day and send positive energy and love your way... Glad you are half way through, now its just the countdown to the end... Hopefully the post op will be a breeze compared to this x