Friday, 2 March 2012

Update x

Just a little update to say how im doing. I finished my radiation treatment last week -  I hope I never have to go back ever again!
The effects of the treatment work at their maximum 1 week after treatment finishes - so right about now, my leg is on fire. The skin on my leg is a really dark color, looks like I have been burnt close to a fire. My scar from previous surgery is probably the victim in all this - not pretty! The nurses put a cloth like bandage called a "Bolis" over my scar every time im in the machine, this apparently doubles the effect of radiation in that one place - why im not sure, but thats what the doctors wanted. To say im tired is a complete understatement. Im also finding falling asleep at night diffulct, last night I didnt drift off untill 5am. 

We saw the surgeon again, have another MI and CT scan to check to see if it has shrunk - Im pretty sure it has, as it feels smaller, but we will not know until I have the scan.  I have my date for the major surgery scheduled for April 4th. Cant wait for all this to be over. Feeling very lethargic about it all. Infact maybe I would say im "emotionally challenged" about it all, one minute I couldnt care less, the next im feeling a little upset.

The surgeon kindly bumped up the "7days" in hospital - to the possibility of "10days" in hospital.  Im going to try my darn hardest and im pretty sure ill be out in 7. I hate hospitals, I didnt hang around after I gave birth to harry either.

Mum and me have been working very hard on putting harry onto formula feeds. Once again, something that kills me, but we have no choice. I cant produce enough to see him through 3-4 weeks after surgery, and thats just because my medication effects my supply. But I may just be able to keep it going, fingers crossed. Ill be hooked up to a drip and a pump in hospital - charming. In good news he now drinks it. When we first started him, he HATED it. Spat it out and started screaming. That went on a good 4 weeks, but we are are doing every third feed formula. A work in progress.

On a totally amazing note - and this made me feel quite strange, compelled and overwhelmed, but Simons mother Kate, works at a hospital in Scotland, they had been fundraising behind her back to pay for her flight to come over to NZ to help us! She turned up to work one day and there was a bucket of cash. Totally amazing. In fact the support from strangers we have had, has been amazing.

In us life, as normal it just has not stopped, I think having to travel to the hospital everyday made everything so much harder. I have been flat out with work, simon has 10 music related projects on the go, maxwell had his second birthday, Valentines day (which consisted of me and simon sitting at the engine room yawning into our double baked goats cheese souffles trying not to fall asleep) Harry is going from strength to strength, mum had her birthday while she has been here, my youngest sisters being an egg, my best friend in london got engaged, I could keep going on but its same old - same old.

Would just like to say, how much I appreciate the help I have had from my mum. There is no way I would have ever been able to get through these last 5 weeks without her help. Im sad she has to go back to christchurch, maxwell and harry are going to notice her not being around. She makes things really fun for them - shes an amazing grandmother to my boys, as much as she talks after shes had a wine (she can taaaalk), I will miss her very very much xx
We have Pania, my step mum coming up on monday for 2 weeks, with my dad coming up for the last weekend - this is super exciting for us, its their first trip since we moved up here x

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